CHAPTER 8

Original: August 28, 2003

Reposted: March 18, 2025

Lun likes to drink soda, so we have to hide it. It is so hidden that sometimes we even forget where it is.

It must have been after two o'clock in the morning. When I was half asleep, I saw a vaguely human head at the foot of the bed. The hair was short and straight. It felt very familiar, but for a moment I couldn't be sure what it was.  After trying my best to clear my mind, I realized that it was Lun.  Then, my wife also woke up.

Lun quietly crawled into our room, ready to steal soda.

Lun only drinks clear drinks, especially 7-up, Sprite and apple juice.  But he is very picky and only likes to drink "fresh" and single drinks. He drinks them as soon as they are opened. After a can of soda is opened for a period of time, the amount of carbon dioxide decreases, so he is greedy for the new and hates the old, so he opens a new can of soda. If we don't stop him, my family's soda consumption can be staggering.

The only way to counter him is to hide the soda, anywhere, as long as Lun doesn't notice it. Such as under the bed, under the sofa, in the corner of the terrace, in the hidden compartment of the wardrobe, mixing unopened soda cans with empty soda cans, covering them with clothes, locking them in the room, putting them in the trunk of the car... But he always has a way to find them.

Sometimes I forget where I hide.

But if we don't show even a can of soda, Lun will become very anxious and restless, annoying us all day long.

In order to reduce expenses, I had to buy goods at low prices. Having too much inventory brings about the problem of lack of storage space. At the same time, if Lun finds out that there is a large amount of inventory, he will drink more generously.

Evening is Lun’s prime time, and he wants to enjoy the quiet pleasure of drinking soda. But when the stock in the living room is exhausted, he will sneak into our room and try his luck. Seeing his sneaky look, we both couldn't help laughing.

Because of his bad habit, I always have some crazy thoughts. I thought that if there were mini cans of soda, it would be better to split one can into three cans than to waste soda. Another fantasy is to have a domestic pop making machine that can re-energize stale soda and make new drinks.

In order not to bear to throw away the deflated soda, I was greedy again, so I occasionally cleaned up the remaining soda for Lun, and as a result, I gained weight again.

I also tried mixing soda with fruit to make a drink, hoping that he could eat more fiber and relieve constipation. But he didn't like mixed fruit soda, and I couldn't drink so much myself, so it ended up being nothing.

In addition to waste, cleanliness is another issue.  Lun didn't know how to hold the mouth of the soda can with his lips. He let the bottom of the mouth of the can touch his lower lip gently, a bit like pouring soda into his mouth. In this way, some soda always dripped on the ground, and the carpet or floor soon became sticky and wet, and a little stain appeared after a while.  Another more troublesome way to drink is that Lun uses a soda pipe and puts the soda into his mouth drop by drop, with more soda dripping on the ground.

The simple matter of drinking soda can turn out to be a lot of tricks.