A Rather Different World

When things or activities in daily life become habits, the advantage is that it consumes less mental energy. Repetition is good enough to convert it to routine. 

 

Since age twenty, all of the following have become part of my life routines, including surgeries minor or major and related tests, assessments, treatments and training for rehabilitation. I got used to them with time.

 

Once my liver cancer returned. A colleague kindly asked me how I was doing. After a quick thought, my reply was, “I am getting used to being sick.” She looked at me with a little bit of surprise, did not know how to respond, and replied with relief, “I don't know what to say.” Here I thank her again. 

 

The care and greetings from relatives and friends always encouraged me and calmed me. My attitude towards sickness is that there is no need to broadcast. Yet I never invite them. However, with growth, they come anyway. There is also no need to hide under the sun, especially for the serious one that involves life and death. I would tell people who need to know. 

 

My understanding is, 1) Guessing and suspicion should be avoided in human relationships. When those around you observed a fluctuation of your emotion, they would guess what happened. However, seeing your mouth tight, people simply do not ask. They became very cautious when interacting with you. 2) Besides, I do not like leaving without notice. I hold myself accountable to people who are with me. How much I tell depends on the relationship. The purpose is to allow people to choose the way of response.

 

So my family, relatives, friends and colleagues know my condition. Since I have nothing to hide, I am more relaxed when interacting with people.

With non stop visits from different diseases, it is harder to go through without readjusting my life and attitude.

 

There is a saying that light sickness is a blessing because the patient has to pause and rest. It can be beneficial to change one's position. Looking back, the few minor operations back in Hong Kong have cleared any resistance against surgery. Furthermore those experiences have strengthened my ability to adapt and improve the arrangement for rehabilitation.

 

The first was the removal of tonsils inside the throat to reduce the rate of infection. Tonsils as a tier of protection became a liability. Ongoing infections left scars with irregular shapes forming convenient shelters for bacterias. I ate fluid food for two weeks during rehabilitation. The other one was an acute infection of the appendix. I had a job interview in the morning and was in the hospital at night. I was bored to death after the operation. I boosted up my spirit and entertained myself by reliving the fried chicken combo of the Australian Cafe in Causeway Bay Hong Kong.

 

With the experience of two major surgeries before liver transplant, I had no worry of the risk of the transplant. Instead what made me regret a little bit was the cardiovascular assessment before the transplant. I guess it was done to check if my heart could stand the transplant. Before and in the middle of the assessment I needed to take in some high fat food. Without reading the instructions accurately, I missed something tasty.